Tuesday, June 8, 2010
To Tulsa With Love
For most of us outsiders who have called Tulsa home, it's not for rational reasons. My big city friends are too cultured for its small home feel, and my small town friends are inhibited by its mid-city size. Yet, we all moved here...willingly...even if for a year of our lives. What is it then, about this seemingly boring midwestern town that draws so many people into its borders? It's certainly not the weather, the landscape, or its lack of glamour. What it is about this city that makes men and women from all over the world literally pack up their belongings and MOVE to this slightly progressive, yet quaint city?
Opportunity.
Yes, Tulsa is a city rich in opportunity. But it is not opportunity in the usual, materialistic context. It is opportunity of a spiritual kind. Opportunity of advancement. Opportunity to grow, to learn, to become something better than what we were before we came. Opportunity to connect, opportunity to be trained, prepared, and launched into a destiny. It is a city of deep spiritual heritage that plants indelible seeds upon the soil of our hearts. We come here to soak up what others have learned, to be taught by the experts, to grow in our understanding of personal giftings and callings, and to be sent out across the world to give out of the very seeds planted in this city. This city is indeed like no other, for it holds a special place in the seasons of our lives.
I've been a citizen of Tulsa for an entire decade now and have had the most wonderful opportunity to be part of some of the most amazing institutions of this city. What brought me here as a 19-year old fresh-faced missionary girl from Paris was the opporunity to gain a college education in a Spirit-filled university. There are many great Christian universities in America, but nothing can quite compare to Oral Roberts University. Dotted with gold-plated domes and punctuated by eternal flames, this futuristic-looking campus may hold small esteem in the eyes of the world. But to me, this university is a priceless thread woven into the fabric of my existence.
As a missionary kid on the European field, I had spent the majority of my teenage years witnessing to atheistic classmates about Jesus. No one in my school had hardly ever seen a Bible, much less been to a real church. I was often the focus of perplexion and discussion among my peers. As an expatriote, I hadn't felt a feeling of belonging in years. Yet the moment I stepped onto the grounds of the ORU campus, my heart had come home. I still remember the first chapel service I ever attended as a freshman - thousands of shiny, youthful faces filled the auditorium as worship music echoed in the air. Suddenly, I didn't feel alone in the world as a Christian...an entire college campus was singing praises to a God I knew! What a safe, safe place to call home.
During the four years of my university studies, I had built friendships, learned from wise professors, spread my wings as a writer and as a young adult, and garnished a lifetime of memories. I graduated with a Journalism degree that has proved vital to my blossoming freelance business. I owe much of who I have become and what I have learned to this university and to its founder, Dr. Oral Roberts.
So to ORU and Oral Roberts, I would like to say thank you. What courage it must have required to step out into the void of Spirit-filled Christian higher education and build a university based on God's authority and the Holy Spirit. From your classes and professors, I've learned how to become a better writer and a better communicator. With these skills, I will go where God's voice is heard small, His light is seen dim, and His power is not known. Thank you for stepping out in faith and obeying God. Even when it wasn't easy, even when the media mocked and scorned, even when the mandate of building a respected university seemed impossible, you forged ahead in obedience and unfettered faith. You gave me an opportunity to grow in my art and impact the world around me. I have learned so much from your example and hope to make you proud.
After graduating from this great university, I went on to pursue ministry training at Rhema. For two years, I was immersed in preparation for the pastoral ministry, a calling I've known since childhood. During that season, I had some of the greatest intense personal times with the Lord, met some of my best friends, and learned valuable lessons for my future. My life would not be complete without that special opportunity.
And so to Rhema Bible Training Center and Bro. Kenneth E. Hagin, I would also like to offer my heartfelt gratitude for the opportunity you gave me to grow and learn. Bro. Hagin, I have grown up on your message of faith since I was a kid. Your books and tapes are a continual source of truth for me, and I appreciate your faithfulness in the minstry. Your legacy of the Word and the Spirit have been the bedrock foundation of my spiritual growth, and I promise to take what I have learned and be the laborer God has called me to be. My feet will be part of the tramping sound you heard. Thank you for your obedience to fulfill the will of God and grant believers like myself the opportunity to be trained for our God-given assignment. You are one of the people I would most like to meet on the other side of eternity.
About two years ago, I had the unique opportunity to take a few classes at Victory Bible Institute and to volunteer weekly at the Tulsa Dream Center. Both of these institutions were founded by Pastor Billy Joe and Sharon Daughtery and have been another huge investment in my life. I will never see the lost, broken, and hurting the same way again.
So to Pastor Billy Joe and Sharon, and all the facets of Victory Christian Center, I would like to say thank you for your compassion, your vision, your dedication, and your heart to serve our city. Few other people in Tulsa have given their all to make an impact in the lives of its citizens like you. Your church, your vision, and your ministry have been a beacon of hope and light to the lost and broken in this city. Thank you so much for your labor of love and for your beautiful example of outreach. Without this opportunity to learn from you, I know something would be missing from my life. May we continue to pass on the simple love of Jesus to a broken and dying world.
Finally, during my sojourn in Tulsa, I have had the wonderful opportunity to call World Outreach Church my home. This has been the center of all that I've done and experienced in this city. When I graduated from school, lost a job, or moved away, this church has been the solid rock to lean on. It is my church family, my protective covering, my correction, and my launching pad. Throughout the years, WOC is the place where I've made dozens of friends, taught preschoolers, prayed with others, helped in the offices, and learned from some of the greatest pastors in the world. This has been one of the most treasured opportunities I've encountered in Tulsa.
And so to World Outreach Church and Pastors Mark and Janet, I would like to say how much I dearly love and appreciate the opportunity you have given me to grow as a sheep. What a place of safety, refuge, and connection. I owe my love of missions and my deep hunger for the things of God to you. You have inspired in so many a vision to reach the nations of the world with the Word and the Spirit, and I know my life would not be the same without your influence. Thank you for being a good pastor and a church to call home...even for those of us who've come from so many places, we don't know really where we're from! You have been the base for my resting place.
And so dear Tulsa, I owe so much to you. Like every other person who has come to your city of light and life, I have gained more from just being here within your borders. I am thankful to have called this place home for so many years. Despite your ice storms, tornado sirens, sweltering humidity, 71st street traffic jams, and current massive road construction, I love you so much. You've been the place of so many memories, friends, and life experiences. I know someday soon, we'll have to bid our farewells, for it will be time to do exactly what I came here to do....to leave. I have fed from your precious soil, grown in the deep earth of your opportunity, and will sow into others from the life I have received. And maybe that's what makes Tulsa so special for so many of us....it's only home because it is the base of our comings and goings. We come here and then do what this city asks of us in so many ways....to leave, taking the soil of this great place with us.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Sacred Fire
Fire of separationFire of sacrificeFire of purifying heatBurned on rocky altarsThrough the ancient nightsNow that fire's burning deep in meMy heart is the altarI am the priestMy life's the only sacrificeThis sacred fire needs
Sacred fireBurn Your mark on meWith Your flame brand the NameFor everyone to seeSacred FireBurn Your mark on meI am honored to be set apartSo burn Your ownership into my heart
Fire of refiningFire of disciplineBurn away all my impuritiesFire of consecrationCarefully defineThe image of the Holy One in meI know that I am privelegedTo bear the sacred lightSo I will lay down everythingTo keep this flame alive
Sacred fireBurn Your mark on meWith Your flame brand the NameFor everyone to seeSacred fire
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wait for Me
NOBLE KNIGHT AND LADY FAIR
Knights in shining armor, princesses waiting in a castle, a heroic tale of romance and adventure...this is the story every young man and woman dreams of. Whether harbored secretly in the hidden corner of our hearts or talked about openly with our friends, this dream is the most sacred and the most cherished to us all. We want the fairy tale. We want the happily-ever after. We want to be the heroes and heroines in this beautifully scripted saga. But does the dream really exist? Or are we all searching for an elusive fantasy?
Along this road of singleness, so many of us have endured heartbreak, disappointment, or discouragement. Some have made mistakes while others have walked with heads hung low in unworthiness and shame. Too many hearts have been broken, beaten, chopped up, and spewed out. Our lives have been strewn with the carnage of broken relationships, shattered promises, and crushed dreams. Disillusioned, we wonder what happened to the story we once longed to experience. Deep within ourselves we question if it is too late.
But God-written stories are never too late...nor are they impossible. For the stories He writes are made of this stuff called faith...and faith works in the realm of the unseen. God is adept at making the broken whole and restoring shattered dreams. He is faithful to wash away the scarred memories of the past and renew a better vision within us. The heart is a matter of great importance to our Father God, and He longs to fulfill our every pure desire. Although few of us may truly realize this, God actually has a plan for our love life! He is the author of romance, and if we follow it His way, we will be blown away by its splendor.
But in order to live the dream, we must first release it...and wait on Him.
HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE?
Waiting on the Lord is something our generation knows little about. We've grown accustomed to an instant-on-demand lifestyle. We want to have things our way right away. But if we want God's best in our lives, we must learn to surrender our ways to His and allow Him to script this story for us.
To many, waiting seems like a slow, inactive process. If truth were told, most of us hate waiting. DMV lines, airport terminals, Wal-Mart check out lanes, traffic lights, doctor's offices...all of these waiting places conjure up horrific images of boredom and wasted time. I wonder how many hundreds of hours we've literally spent waiting in line for something, someone, or simply OUR turn? If the waiting exceeds our little expected slot of time, we get restless and figety...shoe tapping and all. Too much waiting, and our patience evaporates into thin air.
But God's waiting room is different than waiting in line at the dentist's office while the generic radio-friendly pop plays over the loudspeakers. His waiting room is not a bland sterile enviroment filled with zoned out bodies. In this place of waiting on the Lord, the music is sweet, the sound is pleasant, and a lovely fragrance permeates the air. We are not waiting on "something" to happen, nor are we waiting for the next guy to enter the church to be "the one." We are simply learning to wait...on Him.
And those of us who wait will not be ashamed.
There is a most precious verse in Psalms that is written for the waiting ones: "None who trust and wait hopefully and look for You will be put to shame or disappointed" (Ps. 25:3 AMP). What a beautiful promise to those who are truly seeking and waiting upon the Lord. We will not be disappointed or ashamed! Our waiting will prove itself out in wisdom and a happy ending.
FIRST-LOVE FIRE
Something truly magnificent happens in the process of waiting. In additon to our natural understanding of waiting, the word "wait" also means "a binding together" (Strongs Concordance). While we wait upon the Lord, we are being bound together with Him.
In this particular waiting room, our hearts are dregged of any impurities, any other longings, any selfish inclinations, and filled with the reality of our Lord. The waiting serves us one purpose: To become completely enraptured with our First Love. The waiting room is also a test of our character, integrity, motives, and purpose. Daily we learn to die to ourselves and our fleshly desires while taking up the cross of the Kingdom. It is a place where discipline is forged, hearts are purified, and purposes examined. Waiting is not for the faint of heart, for it is a process of fire and battle. It is a place where we lose ourselves and find all that we are in Him.
For a love story to have the signature of romance's true Author, we must first fall in love with the Author Himself. Everything we do and everything we are must be about Him and for Him. There is no room for "me" anymore. For a story to have Eternity's stamp of approval, it must be about Eternity's purpose. We're not just knights and princesses in a fairy-tale; we're knights and princesses in service of a King. There is Kingdom business to attend to, and we are the ones who must answer the call to arms.
So if it seems you've been waiting forever for your knight in shining armor to come sweep you off your feet, or if it seems like every woman you've met is not a true princess, don't become discouraged in your season of waiting. If you've experienced disappointments or heartbreak, simply give it to the Lord and allow Him to restore and renew His dream within you. Don't allow the opinions of others to determine your value; find out your true identity as a son or daughter of God. Dust off the dream of that incredible love story and live unihibited for your King. Learn the art of waiting on the Lord and becoming infused with His wonderous Presence. Pursue the King and run with fire fulfilling Kingdom purposes.
May we be the generation of young men and women who not only believe God for His best in our lives, but wait for His best as well. As our God-written love stories unfold, may we run hand-in-hand, shoulder-to-shoulder, united in heart and vision, pursuing the Kingdom's call and purpose. May we become true knights and princesses waiting passionately upon our Lord and King.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Legacy of True Friendship
In our instant on-the-go, paper-cup-coffee, grab-a-breakfast-bar-for-the-morning-commute society, we are programmed to choose things quickly, on demand, and disposable. Drive-through Starbucks, microwaveable dinners, downloadable music, and online shopping have shaped our generation for instant gratification without a close examination of quality and value. If we can't get our need met within a few minutes or days, we lose our patience and go on to something faster and more convenient.
With the incredible advances technology has made in recent years, it is no wonder we are unsatisfied with things that don't work our way right away. We're productive, tech-savvy, and quick on our feet, but sadly many of us have lost the ability to endure. We're quick to give up on things that often require an investment of our time, our efforts, our energy...and ourselves.
When it comes to friendships, we are more apt to disregard those who've disappointed us, left us, or don't appeal to our ego. We love freely, but only for a moment. Too often, we give up on people the Lord has placed in our lives and go for something shinier, prettier, or cheaper. But friendships are not like the breakfast bar you run out the door with in the mornings. They can't be consumed in a moment with the wrappings tossed in a trash can. Because of their richness and depth, real friendships take time to develop...and to be a true friend, we must learn to endure.
True friends are indeed a rare jewel in this day and age. We're constantly barraged with social contact every day, but acquaintances come and go. In the multitude of faces we meet on a daily basis, we need to discern between the facade and the reality, the temporary and the longlasting, the superficial and the deep. And once we find a true friend, may we determine to never let go regardless of the cost.
This week during my church's annual missions conference, one of the ministers talked much about the quality of relationships in the body of Christ. At 60 years old (or somewhere in that vicinity), he had some wisdom to share on this topic. A missionary and a minister for nearly 30 years, he has developed some quality friendships with other like-minded men and women of God.
Being a preacher's daughter myself, I have watched the same careful enduring friendships shape my parents' lives as well. Years ago, these men and women began friendships with other people who were of the same vision and purpose...and through the challenges of life, ministry, and marriage, these couples have kept each other encouraged and accountable in their race and calling. They have continued to pray for each other, financially support one another, and love each other through decades of good and seasons of hardship. These men and women have learned to value the preciousness of God-ordained relationships. And when the going got tough...well, they just got more determined to stick together.
One thing this minister said that really caught my attention was this: "I started my race with these guys and I'm going to finish with them." As I considered his words, I began to examine the relationships the Lord has placed in my life over the years. Many of the young men and women I've had the privilege of knowing have an incredible call of God on their lives for some specific service in the Kingdom. Now, more than ever, I am determined to hold the ropes for them and their ministries. Thirty years down the road, I want to look back and see an overflowing richness in this area of my life. Despite the challenges we may face in the future, I want to be the kind of friend that endures throughout all seasons of life.
So in the quick-get-it-now era, take time to invest in other people. Look for quality, not quantity. Run with those who are seeking after the very heart of God. When frustrations ensue, don't let it tear you apart from those strategic connections in your life. Allow love, not strife, to permeate your friendships like the most fragrant perfume. Learn to cherish the genuine instead of the trendy, the rare for the popular, and the profound for the surface. As we support one another in true Christ-like fashion, we will have relationships that can't be dumped out once the coffee gets cold. Instead, we'll have authentic friendships that are treasured for a lifetime.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Compelled
Growing up a missionary's daughter, I can attest to the fact that missionaries do indeed think in terms of nations. When people ask me where I grew up, I don't say "Falun" or "Plaisir," but rather "Sweden" and "France." Nations were a part of my identity as I traveled the world with my missionary parents.
During my teenage years, cultural complexities were a daily part of my high school experience. As a student in an international highschool in the Paris suburbs, I would hear a dozen languages every day as I sat in class. My classmates came from a plethora of mixed nationalies: Sara, who was half-Panamian-half-French; Petra, a Checzh national who wrote in her diaries in Swedish; and Arina, the half-Russian-half East German blonde who had once lived behind the Iron Curtian. Then there was Caroline, who was from a Mexican mother, a German father, but was born in France and grew up in New Zealand. She was enrolled in the British section at our school and later went to the US to study at the university. There were a handful of Portugese and Italians, Dutch and Spanish kids who also attended the Lycee....along with an Asian or South American included in the mix.
I would imagine that on our bus alone, at least 20 different nationalities were represented on the 45-minute drive into St. Germain-En-Laye. Flags outlined the silouette of our school, gaurding the students like a miniature UN. Graduation day was the most unusual, for every international section had its own ceremony stemming from its own culture. As an American, I graduated twice that day: once from the American section, and once with the French school.
Indeed, I grew up with an international mindset.
Over the last year, however, something of a paradigm shift has occurred in my little European-educated brain...I've begun to think in terms of cities...American cities to be exact. And what I once saw in nations, I now see in cities. And the average American city is in need of a huge spiritual overhaul.
I sometimes wonder what has happened to the America I knew as a little girl before we moved overseas. Where are her family values, her morality, her stand for God? In the last year or so, with the historical Presidential campaign, our nation lost even more strength as racism, politics, and economics endeavored to tear our nation apart. I'm not intending on getting into a political diatribe here, so I will stop at this point to say that America is in dire need of the revival we missionaries have so longed to see in our respective countries. I honestly believe America has an assignment to finish, and until she has fulfilled her God-given purpose, we as praying Christians must continue to stand in the gap and intercede for our great nation. But I digress...
What has captivated my attention as of late are the cities of America. What once was pleasant, simple, or even glamorous has degraded to violence, hatred, and complacency. I am horrified at the increased crime rates, the random acts of domestic violence, the intrusion of gangs in the city streets, and the absolute shattered home life of these individuals. These cities have become broken in all respects...broken individuals, broken lives, broken homes, broken mindsets, broken societies, broken cities.
It's time for the broken to become whole.
There is so much more I could write about this topic, but my little cafe is closing. I hope to return to the topic of restoration in the American city in a future blog, but for now, let me leave you with a short peoetic verse I wrote earlier this year:
I am compelled
To give of what I have most
To those who have so little
Wholeness, happiness, peace
Restoration, redemption
Endless Unconditional Love
Generations of broken lives
Keep filling my eyes with tears
It’s time for restoration
Epidemic overtaking nations
Glamorous cities forsaken
Countless broken souls
I cannot stand by
Simply watching anymore
A Lady in Wating
A Lady in Waiting
I am in a small room somewhere in a palace
Some say I am a woman, yet others see me as a girl
I know I’m neither - only changing from one to another
It is my time of becoming
Others do not know this for how can they see
This girl inside growing in divine beauty?
I have become that lady in waiting
But an earthly princess I am not
It is a heavenly transition
For I am shedding my girlish design
And becoming a woman of God
There is so much He is at work in me doing
Altering, changing, forming
Completely transforming all within
A living sacrifice He has demanded of me
My life to Him I give unreservedly
A surrender of my will
Is how this first started
But a flood of other burnings
Came crashing into my world
Changing this small tiny girl
Into a wise woman of God
The preparation digs deep
Not concentrating on outward appearances
It has lit a fire in my heart,
The deepest core of my being
Has been touched and loved
I am now a lady
A lady waiting upon her Lord
My Lord is most precious to me
For He has overseen this change in my identity
With great care and utmost skill
He has shaped this girl becoming woman
My love for Him runs as deep as the seas,
As far as the skies
It is He alone who can hold and shape my heart
To Him I alone belong
He is the King upon my heart’s throne
Through all this change He is simply creating me to be
What is most pleasing in His eyes
A woman of wisdom and kindness, love and devotion
Is the lady He’s preparing in me
I am just a lady who’s becoming
Becoming one like her Lord
But in the distance over the forest and across the sea
Is a young knight dressed in armor
He too serves my Lord - he is neither boy nor man,
Like me, he is becoming wise
A preparation time is reserved for him too
A castle he is not residing in
But the forest where the enemy lies
He is out slaying dragons
Learning lessons of spiritual manhood
Right before my eyes
The fight he must endure
For this qualifies him as a true knight
But one day he will come walking
Dented armor, into my sight
“It was a harsh battle,” he will say
“But I learned to delight myself in our Lord
The lessons He taught me though hard I had to fight
Are golden and true
His words alone are what brought me through
Trust in Him I did learn
And His love for me kept me on my way
He has been faithful through this test
In His Lordship, I know I can rest.”
My knight once in shining armor
Stands before me in earnest truth
He has fought hard and won the battle
While I have been through my fire
I stand before him with clothes marked in soot and ashes
We have both been tested it seems
Yet our Lord was wise
For in His faithful eyes He saw
Not a boy, but a knight,
Not a girl, but a lady
In Him we are both becoming
Artistic Perfection of the God-Kind
As humans, we desire and aim for perfection - the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect day, the perfect person. Yet, despite all our efforts and struggles, perfection is something we see and perform in finite moments. After all, human nature is itself imperfect. No matter how hard we strive for perfection, we rarely attain it.
Those of you who are artists will understand the creative tension for perfection. Musicians spend literally hours upon hours practicing a piece of music. The notes must all be played in cadence and rhythm, while the chords, pauses, and emotional balance swirl together to create syphonic sounds of beauty and perfection. Actors rehearse for weeks on end to nail their performance on stage with precision. Dialogue, actions, and facial expressions must all be practiced to deliver a perfect presentation. Writers (of which group I most closely identify) may sketch out dozens of drafts before creating that perfect sentence or story. Every word is tenderly and skillfully chosen to create the perfect vehicle for conveying a message. But even when we execute our art perfectly, we still find areas of fault and criticism.
No matter how hard we try, we still fall short of perfection.
Perfection is something only a Perfect Being can achieve.
While I was reading my Bible this morning, something caught my attention: the perfection of God's ability to perform. Whatever He promised, whatever He said He would do, He does...it's part of His character as a Faithful Father and Friend. But there's something even more than His ability to follow through on something...and that is His perfection. He's not just a person of His Word, but He is also the Perfect Performer. In His delivery, His action, His creation, His timing, His beauty...He is perfect. And when He says He'll do something for us, He does it in the most perfect way possible.
He is the Perfect Author of our life story.
As a writer, I understand and relate to words and stories. Composing any written piece is a delicate procedure of creating the perfect sentence, the perfect plot, the perfect flawed characters, and the perfect retelling of process and journey. As a reader, I appreciate well-written stories that keep me turning pages until the gray hours of early morning. There's nothing more satisfying to the heart of a writer than capturing words of elegant description and purpose on a blank page. Nothing compares to the reader's imagination than the thrill of reading a captivating story with an unexpected ending. The relation between writer and reader is one of satisfaction and fulfillment. The writer creates for the purpose of delivery; the reader absorbs the story for learning and pleasure.
At this very moment, the Perfect Author is crafting our story. He knows where to take us in our journey, He knows what lessons need to be learned to mature us, and He knows what other characters are involved in the process. He saw the battles in our future and gave us the equipment needed to fight them. He knows the steps we should take, for He already had them mapped out ahead of time. He knows the right people to connect us with, and He knows the wrong people who will deter us from our purpose. He already wrote the plot. The climax He's already directed. The ending He crafted from the beginning. He is the perfect writer. Every word, every person, every step, every chapter...everything He wrote in our script was for the purpose of fulfilling our story.
We are the honored participants in this riveting saga. Our primary responsibility is to simply follow the Author's cues. We read, we listen, we receive, we digest... We walk through each day with the satisfaction and wonderment of knowing that something greater than our little plans are at work. We submit to the Author's purpose and walk out His script. The journey becomes a surprise to us, and we may find ourselves awake with anticipation in the middle of the night.
As the Perfect Author, God performs Perfectly. His stories for us include an array of the simple to the design of the miraculous. The pages of our lives are filled with quiet moments in His presence to supernatural events only He could orchestrate. His story is never boring, for His artwork is always perfect. There are no flaws in His story, no thoughtless dialogue, no side journeys without purpose. Every sentence, ever paragraph, every moment....He wrote in exquisite perfection.
Perfection is truly divine. Not disappointing in its effects, presentation, satisfaction, or precision, the perfection of our Father God's performance in our lives is absolutely perfect. Astounding us with its creative detail and clarity, His perfection leaves us in breathless wonder. Once we see it, taste it, hear it, and watch it unfold in our lives, we are forever transformed by this artistic perfection of the God-kind.